childofathos: (Default)

my thread
childofathos: (mother)
A family affair )

[ooc: All dialogue from the SGA episode "Broken Ties"]
childofathos: (leather)
Nothing's ever easy )

[ooc: All dialogue comes from the SGA episode "Broken Ties".]
childofathos: (michael)
It’s difficult to keep track of days anymore. There’s no daytime in space, no sunlight. And the Wraith do not keep up the artifice as they do on the Daedelus and other Earth ships. It is always the same dim half-light that greets her when she wakes.

She has tried to keep up her meditation, but that is difficult too. She can always sense Michael nearby, and his presence disrupts her concentration. Every day (or twice a day, or every other day, or every few hours) she is brought to a lab, either on the ship or on a planet Michael has appropriated for his experiments.

Sometimes she is left alone, strapped to the table, while Michael takes care of other business. Sometimes Kanaan comes to see her, but since the first attempt, he is too skittish of Michael to try to help her escape again.

Sometimes he looks apologetic for this. Sometimes not.

Teyla sometimes thinks she can sense his fear, and sometimes his cruelty. She is almost certain this awareness comes more from the child than from her.

Michael was right. Her son is unique.

She knows once the child is born Michael will have no further use for her, and that when she continues to resist him, he will try to change her as he has changed the others.

She also knows she will die before letting that happen.

Her only concern is that this will mean leaving her child with Michael, and she can only hope Kanaan will overcome his fear long enough to protect him.

She still hopes, if only vaguely, that her team will someday find her, hopefully before she gives birth.

Every time Michael approaches her with that needle, stabbing it deep into her belly, into her child, that hope becomes a little harder to hold onto.
childofathos: (bondage)
Damsel in distress )

[ooc: All dialogue from the Stargate: Atlantis episode "The Kindred".]
childofathos: (michael)
Family Reunion )

[ooc: Dialogue comes from the Stargate: Atlantis episode "The Kindred".]
childofathos: (forest-bed)
She is awake this time. Meditating but conscious. This is the first difference she notices.

Kanaan appears in front of her in the forest as before, with a bright light and a soft wind.


“Kanaan,” she breathes, barely a whisper. “Where are you?” He must be contacting her from somewhere, must know how to guide her to him.

“I don’t know.”

“Who took you?” She must get whatever information she can from him, before this vision is cut short like the others.

“I don’t know.”

“How can I find you?”

“You already know where to go to uncover the answers.”

“The village.”

The look he gives her is heartbreaking in its despair. “You stopped looking.”

“I went. I found nothing.” She had wanted to stay, but John had brought her back.

“You were close,” Kanaan says, pleading. “Please, Teyla. Our time is running short.” He holds out a hand in supplication, and she wants nothing more than to take it, to let him pull her to him and hold him, to be given some indication that this is real and not just a construct of her distressed mind. “We need you.”

“Kanaan,” she whispers, reaching for his hand.

As his fingers close around hers, the forest disappears, and she is once again back in her room. Alone.

[ooc: All dialogue from the Stargate: Atlantis episode "The Kindred"]
childofathos: (forest-bed)
It is the same as before: not quite a dream, but not quite waking either.

Her bed is in a forest glade and sunlight streams down on her face, waking her. As she rises, a ball of light coalesces in front of her, slowly shifting into his form.

“Kanaan!” She stands and goes to him, knowing he is not physically there, but not caring.

He reaches for her, hands pausing as they approach her belly. “Teyla?”

He is surprised, as she knew he would be. Pleased as well, smiling even as he covers his mouth with his hand.

She laughs softly. It is just as she had expected the revelation to go.

When he lowers his hand, he is no longer smiling. His eyes are bright with hope as well as fear.

“You must help us.”

She nods. “How?”

“Save us.”

“Where are you? Where are our people?”

In answer he reaches for the pendant at his throat, yanking it off and holding it out to her.

“You bought me this.”


“Do you remember where?”

“In the village of Croya.” She hesitates. “Is that where you are?” It seems too simple.

He drops the pendant into her hand. “Come find me.”


When she wakes, she is sitting up in her bed, hand held before her, grasping nothing but air.

Now she knows what she must do. All she must do is convince the others.

[ooc: All dialogue comes from the SGA episode "The Kindred".]
childofathos: (forest-bed)
It is not like the dream she had when the crystalline creature took John's form and taunted her with old fears.

It is not like the vision she received from Davos.

It is not like the disjointed sight when she takes over a Wraith mind.

And though she believes she is awake, it is not quite like that either.

Kanaan's body rests on the funeral pyre before her, lifeless, peaceful. Her team is with her, and the torchbearers, and Colonel Carter offers her condolences.

"I really thought I could save him."

She did. Though there seemed to be no hope, she had refused to give up. She believed she would find her people, take vengeance on whoever had taken them, spill blood for blood, and bring Kanaan home to be father to their child.

John and the colonel offer words of reassurance, but she barely hears them. She feels the tear slide down her cheek as she takes a deep breath and prepares herself for what must follow.

"All right. I am ready."

The few steps to the pyre seem like miles, like light years, and Kanaan looks so at peace it is difficult to believe he is really gone. She takes the flaming brand from the torchbearer, kneels and lights the brush at the base of the pyre, then slowly steps back to her place with the others, wondering if somehow she hadn't always known it would come to this.

As she watches the flames rise, preparing to devour Kanaan's body, Kanaan lifts his head and looks straight at her.

"Teyla. Teyla!"

Colonel Carter and John hold her arms as she struggles to go to him. "He is still alive!"

"Help me, Teyla, please!"

"He is still alive! Let me go!"

The colonel is yelling something, trying to calm her. Telling her it is too late to save him.

"Help me, Teyla! Teyla! Teyla! Tey... TEYLA!!!"


She wakes, alone in her bed in the city.

She will not believe it was only a dream.

[ooc: Dialogue from the SGA episode "The Kindred".]
childofathos: (lorne)
Teyla is anxious. It has been some time since John and the rest of the team left to explore the Wraith facility on the planet, and she is not used to being the one to be left behind to wait.

She has just forced herself to stop pacing and have a seat when Major Lorne comes onto the bridge.

“Hey. Any word yet?”

“No.” She shakes her head. “They have not been in contact.”

“Well, guess there’s not much to do but wait, huh?”

That is not much of a comfort. “Mmm.”

The major takes a seat next to her, clearly as anxious as she is for news. She can see that he is also nervous and uncomfortable, and she wonders if perhaps John had spoken to him of his reservations regarding her participation in this mission.

Eventually, the major clears his throat and says, “Listen, I never got the chance to congratulate you. It’s really great.” His face breaks into the teasing smile she’s often seen him using with other civilian members of the expedition. “I didn’t even know you were dating anyone.”

She returns his smile, appreciating the gesture.

“My sister has a couple of kids,” he says, and it occurs to Teyla that for as many times as they have worked together, saved each other’s lives, she knows next to nothing about him. She wonders for a moment what he left behind to be in Atlantis. “Two boys: five and seven. I miss being around them.”

This is more than she thinks perhaps even John knows about him, and she repays his honesty with some of her own. “I am not really sure what to expect.”

The look he gives her is meant to be encouraging, and she can see why he is so well thought of among the Marines. “Nobody ever is—at least not with the first one. But you get through it.”

She nods, and his smile is almost teasing again, but she suspects he’s fallen back into discomfort. “Aw, you’re gonna make a great mom.”

She’s reminded of another conversation she had recently, and she gives him a grateful smile. “Thank you. I wish I could be so sure.”

And then they wait.

[ooc: Dialogue comes directly from the Stargate: Atlantis episode "Spoils of War".]
childofathos: (atlantis)
I have been thinking, since my conversation with Ryu, about the need to leave something behind. My people do not do this. We understand how easily such things can be destroyed. Instead, we pass on our knowledge and our tradition through teaching, generation to generation. But I have become increasingly aware of late that the child I carry could well be the last of our kind, and, understanding the life I live and will probably continue to live even after the child is born, I wonder if it would not be prudent to leave something behind in case I do not survive to see my child grown.

My own mother was taken when I was a very small child, and though my father often told me stories of her, I cannot help but wonder if she ever thought about leaving something similar for me.

So to my child who is not yet born I would say: This is your heritage. These are your people, though you may never meet them. Pass on this knowledge, these customs to your own children someday, even if they do not bear the name of Athos.

And to anyone else who may read this: This is the story of my people, and the messages I would give to my child. If there is no one left to carry our name and our story, at least do not let us be entirely forgotten.
childofathos: (stained glass)
This was exactly why she had not told him.

And she's hurt.

And she's angry.

He does not trust her, perhaps.

And it is the first time since she's come to Atlantis that John has not trusted her, even if no one else did.

He does not believe her, maybe.

Not about being pregnant. It's quite obvious he believes that. About still being capable of performing her duties. About Athosian women remaining active throughout their pregnancies.

And she has no way of proving this to him if he will not allow it.

And she has no way of continuing the search for her people if he will not allow it.

She allows Ronon to accompany her to the infirmary, then bids him farewell at her quarters, changing quickly into sparring clothes and hoping the news has not spread so far yet that no one will be willing to fight her.
childofathos: (stained glass)
Teyla has much to think about.

The replicators have begun destroying human worlds. John has said that over 150,000 have died so far. Such a number seems incomprehensible.

And Davos had not been able to tell her where her people may be.

But they are alive. And for now, that is enough.


Jul. 6th, 2008 02:21 pm
childofathos: (stained glass)
She doesn’t like psychiatrists. She didn’t like them before Kate, and she likes them even less now.

And she misses Kate.

Jennifer has been very kind, but she is not so good a friend as Kate was, and she seems to be not quite sure what to say.

Kate had always known what to say. Or at least, she had always known how to get Teyla to say what she needed to say.

They are gone.

They are all gone.

I am the last.

It may not be what she needs to say, but it is all she can think.


I and this child are the last.

It is too much. Too much loss, and this gift she did not ask for does not make up for it all.

I would give up the child to have them back.

Even so, the thought of losing the child brings an ache to her belly.

John has been very kind, Ronon silently supportive. Even Rodney has been trying, though she suspects only she can tell.

She can see Kate, sometimes. Hear her asking, “What do you suppose that means?”

It is part of me. Part of me and of my people. It is my last link to them.

“How does that make you feel?”

I do not know.

“How does that make you feel?”

I do not know.

“How does that make you feel?”

I do not know!

It is too much. When the door to her balcony opens onto a too familiar bar, she does not worry that she may be stuck again. She simply steps through.
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