[Milliways]

She doesn’t like psychiatrists. She didn’t like them before Kate, and she likes them even less now.

And she misses Kate.

Jennifer has been very kind, but she is not so good a friend as Kate was, and she seems to be not quite sure what to say.

Kate had always known what to say. Or at least, she had always known how to get Teyla to say what she needed to say.

They are gone.

They are all gone.

I am the last.

It may not be what she needs to say, but it is all she can think.

Then:

I and this child are the last.

It is too much. Too much loss, and this gift she did not ask for does not make up for it all.

I would give up the child to have them back.

Even so, the thought of losing the child brings an ache to her belly.

John has been very kind, Ronon silently supportive. Even Rodney has been trying, though she suspects only she can tell.

She can see Kate, sometimes. Hear her asking, “What do you suppose that means?”

It is part of me. Part of me and of my people. It is my last link to them.

“How does that make you feel?”

I do not know.

“How does that make you feel?”

I do not know.

“How does that make you feel?”

I do not know!

It is too much. When the door to her balcony opens onto a too familiar bar, she does not worry that she may be stuck again. She simply steps through.